“Hey sweet. I can touch the tissues. Eww...it kinda feels like a sea sponge.”

    “Hi, I’m insane—er, Alm.”

    “I’m not a kid. I’m a dwarf!”

    “I am a deviant and a sexual predator.”

    “I wish to bed all the pretty ladies in the world at least once.”

    “I am a grassrunner, but of no relation, relevance or even knowledge of ‘Maar’, so don’t you dare compare me to him.”

    “I am a certified giant amongst my many peers, as well as a self-proclaimed genius when it comes to the very workings of the cosmos.”

    “Nay, not gods nor goddesses could match intellect and wit with I, Alm, for they would have to scale the highest peaks of the largest breasts to dare compare themselves with nerkersaddersag...The...citation of...certification...of...uhh...”

    “Why are you holding my shoulder? Did I steal your knickers and not know it?”

    “You’re an interesting breed of dark-elven-two-legged-centauri. If you have the time, and patience, I’d prefer to dissect your clothes in the privacy of your room and from there, we can make with the breeding of a superior super army of skinny, beardless dwarflet-dark-elven-two-legged-centauri to conquer Alecrast, and if we have time, Lodoss. Although there is really not much to conquer here, I can honestly say. Between big bugs and a bunch of stupid, barrel chested oafish humans, Lodoss isn’t all that interesting.”

    “What are you to think you have a chance of being on the same level as me, you tailless monkey? Give me food and I might let you live without the fierce reminder of my teethmarks in your foot.”

    “So who’s this Brahms guy, and what is he to you? Is he your boyfriend? Are you married? Would you like to be?”

    “‘What is left to do once the world crumbles to ash, is it not the fallen who are to blame. Souls of fallen, dead reborn, to hell with life and game.’”

    “Actually, you’re kinda pretty if you look past the unneeded facial hair.”

    “The night is always my favorite part of the day. During the night, the sins of the day are washed away in the tide of darkness.”

    “Sometimes I think everyone should wake up early, so that they can see the morning at its best. The night is my favorite time though, because I see my nightmares clearer. No, wait. That’s not right. I HATE THE NIGHT!”

    “I should really keep things written down so I can remember them. Of course, I may forget that I wrote it down, so that won’t help.”

    “You know, for an elf, you’re really kinda cute. Like an adorable cat that just needs a little scratch in the right places to make her purr.”

    “You can trust good ol’ Alm, he never steers ye wrong...never.”

    “Sylph, I think now would be a very good time to work out a little deal: get me through this and I promise to try harder.”

    “Oh little Sylph, winged wind, help me in my time of...just attack the big bug, okay!”

    “LAND!! I love you, don’t ever leave me again!!”

    “You’re making my Sylph jealous of your Salamander.”

    “Is that what you’re saying? ‘I killed the innocent woodlander to make Alm’s nightmares get worse’?”

    “You know, for an ‘accursed isle’ the women on this little island are actually quite blessed and bountiful.”

    “She doesn’t want to go with you, you mudraking, Falis-forsaken, accursed, no-good hick!”

    “You cast another spell on me, and I will personally rip your entrails through your nostrils.”

    “Wake up little boy, we need you to be fodder for the nasties waiting on us to break apart.”

    “Goodnight, sweet beast. You were tricked by a creature much smaller and smarter than you.”

    “Anyone want monster heart too? Twenty to one odds that it’s tasty.”

    “It’s better than vegetable: it’s heart! You know heart is like a vegetable. It’s not really a meat, it’s like a muscle, and mussels are sea creatures, and sea creatures have salt in their veins, like, one time I swore I saw kelp try to eat a dolphin. It was mildly amusing. But then there was this one time... Okay, back to my muscle thing. Mussels live near kelp, which is a vegetable. So, in a way, it’s related to a vegetable, and that is why I’m going to eat it.
    “Although you may have others fooled with your innocent facade, I, on the other hand am clever like a fox. And like a fox, I can hunt out things that don’t belong. Also, foxes have long pointed ears like elves, which makes me think that foxes are indeed related to fae. That would make sense, considering their omnivoristic urges. It’d be safe to say that most of the Canis family of animals are interesting to say the least, and although many branches of the Canis family are domesticated, they are not nearly as feral as their Felix enemies. Felines, or the Felix family, are commonly referred to as cats. I hope that we run into a pole cat, they are an interesting species, and somewhat more intelligent than your average Canis lupus.
    “Although, to bring back to the manticore, it is hard to figure out what branch of the animal kingdom it belongs to. Some could argue that due to its body shape, it could be a member of the Felix family, though with its wings, it looks more Rodentia. Although, with the tail it hearkens a liking to the Arachinda family aforementioned. Frankly, in all truth, it belongs to the chimera family, a relative of a nasty creature, most likely created due to some sick Kastuulian wizard bored with his pet.
    “Let us harvest the hearts of said chimera family pests and smoke the meat. ’tis said, in some barbaric cultures, that one who eats the heart of its enemy becomes insanely brave, and nary impenetrable. Of course, that is hardly the case here. But at least we’d have more food for the road.”